the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
