I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
