Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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