I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
