omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
