And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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