is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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