All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
