The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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