I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize