FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
