3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
