Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
