Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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