Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
