Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
