After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
