Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
