SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
