Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
