There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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