.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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