i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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