make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
