oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
