If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
