I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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