Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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