I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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