You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
