Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
