that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
