Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
