I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
