if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
