Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
