Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
