I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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