Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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