the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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