I think i peed on brittanys purse
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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