Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
