I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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