anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
