this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
