I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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