You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
