hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
is it fun? or sober?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
