I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
