Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
