OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
