found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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