I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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