just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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