My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They took my balls.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize