he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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