Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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