need another drink. this is the easiest way
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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