I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
