I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
