Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize